I just cut my nipple shaving
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
