two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
