whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
