I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
i need to put some appletini on your dick
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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