Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
