Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
