How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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