and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
