the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize