i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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