Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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