Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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