I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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