the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize
