real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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