Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
