Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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