Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
