He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My cat gives me a boner
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
