It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
it hurts more in the daytime
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
where are my eyebrows?
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