What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
