Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize