just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I can't put those talents on a resume
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
