My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
