life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
