im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
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