She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
