I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
is it fun? or sober?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
