Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
