So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
