Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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