she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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