Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
