Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
