we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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