I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
