She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
