at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
