Having a random hookup so left but love u
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
