the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Quick, to the slutcave!
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
