The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
