i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
