His pubic hair was longer than his dick
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I didn't notice because vodka
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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