Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
