It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
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