I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
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