Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
