he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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