I wanna passion pit in your ass
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
