I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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