We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
