Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Randomize
