Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
