White coat. Heels.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She even gives head with a lisp.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize