no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Even my vagina gasped.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
