I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
