So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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