GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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