i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize