I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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