he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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