I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
