You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
