please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
