i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
