Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
