how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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