HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Randomize
