i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
